I found these Interesting

. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say, “Because it’s such a beautiful animal.” There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
 ~Ellen DeGeneres
2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan
3. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
4. If you look like your passport photo, you’re too ill to travel.
~Will Kommen
5. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
~Robert Orben
6. Misers aren’t fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.
~David Brenner
7. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
~Dave Barry
8. I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?
~Jean Kerr

9

. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
~Calvin Trillin

1o

. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
~Rodney Dangerfield
1

1

. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
~Yogi Berra
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2

. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
~Douglas Adams

13

. I hate housework- you make the beds, you do the dishes…and six months later you have to start all over again.
~Joan Rivers

14

. Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
~Bob Thaves

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5.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
~W.C. Fields


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